A few years ago, I was sent a DVD in the mail to review for a magazine. There was no case, no liner, just a disc titled “Stereotypes Don’t Just Disappear Into Thin Air” and the name of a production company, Bill Zebub Productions to be precise. The film was one of the funniest things I had ever seen, harkening back to classic B and C grade films of the 1980’s. I showed that flick to tons of people, many of whom just didn’t “get it”, but fuck ‘em, Mr. Zebub’s sense of humor isn’t for everyone anyway. It’s for a very select few that understand what he going for. Also, the fact that East Coast drinking water does rather peculiar things to ones chromosomes plays a bit of a factor. Then, a few months ago, the same editor sent me another film, this one titled “Jesus Christ Serial Rapist”, bearing the Bill Zebub brand. I happily watched and reviewed this one as well, a complete 180 from “Stereotypes…” but very cool none the less.

            With all of that said, it should come as no surprise that I was jubilant to say the least when a manila envelope appeared in my mailbox, slightly battered, bearing a chicken scratched return address of Clifton, New Jersey…home base of one Bill Zebub! My mind began to race, my fingers shaking slightly as I tore into the package, and (to borrow from an old holiday poem) what to my wondrous eyes should appear, a copy of “The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made”, UNCUT no less.

            The film begins innocently enough with a game of strip poker, which goes horribly awry when an axe murder kills three of the guests, and Bill (Bill Zebub) accidentally kills the final guest during a game of 52 pickup. Now he and girlfriend Jeanne (Andrea Szel) are on the run from the law.

            The cover warns THIS DVD CONTAINS ORIGINALITY, and there is absolutely no bullshit in that statement. What we have here is a collection of every horror genre staple known to man; an axe murder, a demented doctor, a mummy, killer insects, a 50-foot woman, zombies, rapist ventriloquist dummies, vampires, this list could go on and on. At the same time we have social commentary (albeit non P.C.) about terrorism, abortion, religion, gays in the military, relationships, men, women and this list, as well, could continue to fill this page. Bill Zebub is definitely a man who pulls no punches and lets everyone have it, no ifs, ands or buts! Along the way they encounter a terrorist group trying to overthrow the United States, the resurrection of Jesus Christ, a gaggle of frantic rednecks, not to mention enough naked flesh to make anyone pay attention. 

I could lie to you and say that during this the two lovers are searching for something to rekindle the spark in their love, but that’s a pant load! Fact of the matter is, this side-splitting slice of splatter, filled to the brim with blood, gore, boobs, monsters, and everything else that make b-movies great, is just that, a horrific experiment into the extremes of film, satire, and social relevance. If your going into this expecting deep psychological revelations about why someone kills another, or the feelings of sadness that turned the monster into a monster in the first place, go watch Inside The Actors Studio, or some other tripe. This is simply a hard drinking, hard farting flick created by a horrornerd, for other horrornerds.

Personally, I give this one two butcher knives way up in the air. It’s more fun that running with scissors, and a hell of a lot easier to clean up than a dead hooker, once your done playing!